Bad Eggs
5V12
"Please! Like Angel and I are endless slaves to passion! Grow up!" - Buffy
Buffy runs into a cowboy vampire at the mall, then returns to her mom Joyce, who is becoming increasingly annoyed about her daughter's lack of responsibility. The next day at school in health class, the students are asked to take care of an egg as if it were a baby, to teach them how much responsibility it takes to be a parent. Giles warns Buffy about the vamp she ran into -- Lyle and his brother Tector, the Gorches, are cowboy vampires, but he's not sure why they've been drawn to Sunnydale at this time. But Buffy's head is not into slaying or egg-raising these days -- she's ever more into the dreamy Angel, and her nights at the cemetery have become nothing more than make-out sessions with her undead man. When Buffy returns from her non-productive investigation of the Gorches, she finds her egg baby shaking -- she's wigged. A gross scorpion-like slimy creature bursts from it and attacks her, but she manages to stab it to death with a pair of scissors. She calls Willow to let her know what's happened, but Willow says her own egg baby is fine, and there's nothing to worry about. But we see that Willow is lying, because her own egg is indeed broken apart, and she has a spaced-out look on her face. When Joyce enters Buffy's room and finds her fully dressed, she thinks she's getting ready to sneak out and grounds her.
The next day at school, Willow gathers the gang for a monster autopsy. But she and Cordelia, whose egg has also spawned a creature, wind up decking Buffy and Xander and dragging them into a broom closet. Then, Willow, Cordy and a bunch of other students and teachers head zombie-like to the basement with shovels and axes. Even Joyce gets possessed, when she comes to school to fetch her grounded daughter and instead finds a spaced-out Giles, who throws one of the creatures onto her.
When Buffy and Xander come to, they find Giles' book which explains what's going on. There is a creature in the basement called a Bezoar, whose offspring attach themselves to human hosts and take control of their motor functions. They follow a possessed student, Jonathan, to the basement and discover Willow, Cordy, Giles, Joyce, and a bunch of others harvesting eggs from a gigantic slimy parasite. As Buffy looks for a weapon big enough to toast this mama Bezoar, the Gorch brothers show up. Tector approaches the Bezoar, and his brother Lyle can only look on in horror as it drags him down into the pit. An angry Lyle pushes Buffy over to the monster, whose tentacles drag her under too. The possessed humans stop working and gather round the Bezoar as Buffy battles it in the pit. We see the Bezoar's eye close and suddenly all the babies fall off of their human hosts, who then fall to the ground.
Somehow Buffy emerges victorious and Lyle gets his coat. Giles stumbles for an explanation for what's happened to everyone, and tells the student body there's been a gas leak. Once Joyce gets her bearing, Buffy is more grounded than ever. She's not allowed to leave her room, but that doesn't stop her from making out with Angel, who she kisses from her window as he is perched outside.
More Information
This tepid 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' rip-off is one of the weakest episodes of the series, with many scenes that seem almost entirely superfluous, and others whose importance is undermined by their brevity. The sub-plot about the two vampire brothers, Lyle and Tector Gorch, initially seems promising, but soon fizzles out, playing second fiddle to the story about the egg creatures. The scene at the beginning of the episode, where Joyce chides Buffy for forgetting her dress, is amusing, and gives Buffy the chance to tell her mother that she's distracted by "saving the world from vampires".
Another funny scene is the first teenage health class, where Xander and Cordelia score points from each other, at the same time revealing a little more about their relationships than perhaps we needed to know! Generally, though, this is an episode short on laughs. The Gorches might have provided some light relief, but their comedic potential is barely developed in Marti Noxon's script.
Anyone wanting to check out this episode's antecedents is advised to read Jack Finney's 1940s novel 'The Body Snatchers', (or see any of the three movie versions adapted from it), and Robert A. Heinlein's hugely influential 1950 novel 'The Puppet Masters', (turned into a movie in 1994 after being plundered for its ideas for decades). If you enjoyed the tense scene where Buffy's egg hatches and the creature attacks her, seek out James Cameron's 1986 movie 'Aliens', which contains a very similar sequence.
Trivia
Fox's official episode synopsis contains a number of minor differences: Buffy uses a letter-opener to stab the egg creature, not scissors (they look like scissors to me - Ed); Buffy is bumped into the Bezoar pit by Lyle; Tector is knocked in too.
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